Thursday, December 3, 2009

Why Men Marry Bitches

I read two books in one day the other day: "Why Men Marry Bitches" and "Eclipse", which is part of the Twilight saga.

I have to admit that men baffle me. They baffle me because I always see them walking all over nice, giving and loving women, and chasing after and giving the world to more self centered women.

According to the "Bitches" book, men take "nice" women for granted and are bored by them, while they find self-absorbed women ("Bitches") more challenging and therefore worth loving and worshiping. So I guess this means I am doomed to a lifetime alone. It is my instinct to try to put other people's needs before my own and to love someone with all my heart if I love them. One of life's big ironies is that this means I am doomed to never be loved or cared for.

:( I'm not feeling very happy today.

14 comments:

Aynur said...

If that's the case, then it totally baffles me too. :(
But that doesn't mean there's not someone out there for you, somewhere... ((hugs))

Kaaleyentertainment said...

lool dont worry accordin to sherry women must realise men arent worth the hassle :P lovely blog
madameamazing :)

eyes serene said...

I haven't read the book but this is what I think... the jerks marry the nice people because nice people mistake their jerkiness for assertiveness and then find out too late... I swear to God, I've seen it a million times, nice women putting up with jerky husbands, nice men putting up with jerky wives... I always wonder why I can't just switch them around and let the jerks battle it out and nice people have a pleasant marriage!

desertmonsoon said...

thanks aynur, Kaaleyentertainment (please forgive me if i didn't spell that right!)

Hi eyes,

Yeah i think you are right, i have observed the same thing and wished the same ... I'm screwed :(

eyes serene said...

I don't necessarily think you are screwed... I just think nice people who wish to have healthy relationships need to be observant and make intellectual decisions rather than emotional. It's hard when you're in the middle of falling in love to see clearly. Aggression can look like assertion and healthy self-esteem if you aren't paying close attention/if you don't know someone long enough, and you're all high on emotions... It's not easy, not at all, but insha'Allah, you meet someone who is a good match for you and find happiness again. It's the simplest thing in the world, to want to love and be loved, and yet the hardest thing to obtain. I was alone for eight years between my first marriage and my second. It was a lonely eight years and I really didn't honestly ever expect to meet someone again. I had thrown in the towel, really. So I know how it feels... And the trick for nice people is to learn assertion and check that their self-esteem is at a healthy level. That makes a huge difference. I was a doormat when I was young and in those eight years alone, I grew so much as a person and began to assert my rights and realize my worth. I'm not perfect by any means but I'm stronger now and put up with less crap. (I mention this because you wrote in your OP about men walking all over nice women. Sometimes nice people are a little too nice, y'know? I was one of those.)

eyes serene said...

P.S. Um, sorry, I didn't realize I wrote *that* much. LOL

Alice said...

Don't worry plz. I believe that a truly intelligent man will never love a bad woman. A good man simply won't stand being around a bitch.

So when a really good and worthy man comes your way he'll love you.

If a man is chasing a bitch he's not worth being with a good woman, so let them chase bitches and suffer from them as much as they want.

Ghost Writer said...

Guess that's why men can't get enough of me ;)

Fatty said...

woah! Boy, do I hate twilight! I guess I am unlovable now too, unless I decide to switch to bitch mode...

Gypsy-Heart said...

I honestly believe that there is some truth to this. It isn't always the case, not every man is the same.You just have to lay your boundaries. A man will continue what he can get a way with. If from the beginning you lay the rules then you shouldn't have a problem. Maybe i'm a bitchy woman and don't realize ahahaha. You're not doomed stay true to your heart.

rama said...

hope you are going well! I come nearly everyday to see if there are any updates...miss your blog.. take care,

shanta said...

can I ask you where and what is the story behind the photo on your blog header... Its very atmospheric..
I have been reading your blog and wondered why you stopped,I miss it.
take care,
shanta

desertmonsoon said...

Gypsy-heart / Eyes-serene
is there anyway to change the pattern - what if without knowing it you didn't lay down the law at first - is there any way to turn the tables?

Alice - I don't know - I see some truly nice men suffering at the hands of bitches - all men seem to prefer them :(

Ghost Writer :)) - I wish I knew how to be "bitchy" - maybe you can teach me :P

Fatty - well i couldn't get through twilight, didn't bother to try to read the second one - but for some reason Eclipse was more readable - the acting in the movies is pretty crap - but sometimes i enjoy a good cheesy gothic romance :P


Rama - thanks - I will try to get back to it... Have too much to do these days it seems.

Shanta - the photo is a scene on the way to Oman - I don't know why but that Venus sign on that little run-down building in the middle of nowhere in the Arab Gulf - it kind of amused me... and it kind of just symbolizes my life in this place.

Omani Princess (not Omani LOL) said...

I have that book. It is only true up the point of getting married, after, they like the caring woman:D