Saturday, August 13, 2011

Am I wrong for hating my husband sometimes?

I just spoke to my ex-husband - actually, he's really my husband since he can't be bothered to divorce me, and the courts here clearly don't give a shit about me and my kids, so the divorce case I filed has been languishing there for the past three years...

Anyway, I have been calling him fairly regularly for the past six months - ever since it looked likely that I would get this new job here in Abu Dhabi. I needed him to cooperate with regard to some documentation for the kids. It was really quite simple: I asked for a letter stating that he has no objection me sponsoring them and for him to send our marriage certificate for attestation.

Apparently, even the smallest of requests is too much for him to do for me - for his sons! He still hasn't done the letter. Now, for those of you who don't live here, or don't know, everyone living in the UAE should have a Residence Visa. Without a proper visa, you can't work, rent a house, open a bank account, etc. For kids it means you can't enroll in school.

When Mr. Dead Beat left us almost 6 years ago, he had just renewed the kids' residence visas - so they were OK for another three years. But once their visas ran out, they couldn't go back to school. That's why I moved to the North from Dubai, because the company that hired me claimed they were going to help me sort all that out. Of course they did not - they did jack shit - all they did, in fact, was to introduce me to an Indian lawyer who can't even practice in the local court and who introduced me to an Egyptian, who took me an Arab lawyer friend of his. The Indian was the front man for a while, and then he just kind of disappeared. My case went nowhere. No one ever bothered to contact me with updates. When I call them, they avoid my calls - usually - or lie to me and tell me that next week they will talk to the judge and it will finish... and then the day they specify comes and goes and no one contacts me...

Anyway, the kids have been home-schooled for three years as a result of this. I couldn't really afford to send them to the only decent school there anyway... since their father also sends NO money for the kids (he doesn't even spend the money it takes to call them). But now, my new company will give me money for school fees IF I can sponsor them and get them enrolled.

So anyway, I called him again to nag him once again, and I got a bit upset this time. First of all, for no reason out of the blue he asked me if I had started drinking now. I never did drink and don't drink now. At this point I might have become just a tad bit snippy and said "No, sorry to disappoint you - I know you like women who drink."

To which he replied, "who says what I like?"

To which I said "I know your girlfriend is a heavy drinker".

And then he asked who told me, and I said "who HASN'T mentioned her heavy drinking when she comes up in conversation?"

Apparently that upset him, after all I guess I am supposed to respect his heavy drinking, virtuous "Muslim" girlfriend who slept with my husband so she is also the mother of his illegitimate daughter. Something tells me alcohol was involved in the conception of that child, but that's a whole different story (sort of).

Anyway, I also went on and told him "you haven't don't anything for your sons in years, and I know they don't matter to you as much as your daughter, but can you please make them a priority for once - just long enough to get this letter done, signed, notarized, attested and sent off?

He got mad and hung up on me.

Am I wrong?


I'm Farsilla said...

no ur not. he is just a useless man (as a husband n a father)


Anonymous said...

WOW.. have you considered visiting him? Is there anyone who could support you with that? someone official?

desertmonsoon said...

@hind what do you mean? visiting him for what reason? It's kind of humiliating to go visit your husband when he lives with his girlfriend...